Life – it’s bigger

We moved Kyle into the dorm at Sac State (California State Univ-Sacramento) yesterday (happy dances for everyone!) and yes, I am taking all the credit for this monumental occasion. And I don’t even care how that sounds.

I have gotten a lot of things accomplished these last 8 months, but nothing took more of my psychic energy than Kyle. The stress that kid put me through caused full-on panic attacks, more sleep-less nights than I can count, and it has taken quite a toll on me mentally and physically.

There were several times earlier this year that I tried to write a post about all the shit going on, but I was unable to get past the second sentence. There was just too much and I wasn’t ready to share it on this or any other social media platform. I still don’t feel like suffering the  carpel-tunnel that I would inevitably get trying to write about “all the things”. But let me tell you the story of Kyle. Kyle, whose graduation ceremony was on a Thursday night and we didn’t know if he would even graduate until Monday afternoon of that week!

Let’s let that sink in. The child almost did not graduate.

Because of his math class. Where he never turned in any of his homework. Classic (and stupid) story of a smart boy who gets A’s on all his tests, F’s on the all the homework assignments, and then gets a C in all his classes.  Go ahead, bang you head on your desk. Why do you think I have so many damn headaches?!

So the second half of May, after somehow surviving my semester from hell, was the stressed out nag-a-thon to get Kyle to finish up and turn in all the missing homework packs. “Kyle, you should start working on that math” “I will” “Kyle, you only have two weeks, get on it!” “I know. I got it.” “KYLE!” “I will” and on and on until my head exploded.

But he graduated! And he was accepted to Sac State. I took a brief 5 minutes to bask in his graduation glory and then shifted focus to the college admissions to-do list. Anyone who has a kid in college knows that there are no less that five thousand and two hoops that must be jumped through before admission is finalized. Miss a dead-line and your hosed. Not sure that Kyle even knows how to use a calendar, I made sure shit got done. Took my laptop to class with me that morning the housing application window opened. FAFSA, FERPA, I did it all.

So sure, throw some credit to Kyle. He is smart, got good SAT and ACT test scores, and is where he should be. And Chris certainly deserves mad props too. But today I’m gonna stand here and yell “ME!” because I worked my ass off this year. And dropping this kid at the dorm was a big fucking deal!

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My work here is done. Kick ass at college Kyle!

 

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One tube of white paint at a time.

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Today’s easel view. I will be forever entertained that the gun print in the background always seems to be pointing at someone’s head!

We have been in our new house for over a year now and I can’t even express how much I love my studio space without resorting to lots of little hearts and glitter. And I don’t roll that way.

much.

I love sitting at my desk and being able to turn and mad dog whatever is on my easel. Today we have two acrylic paintings that I have been working on in fits and starts for a couple months. Actually the bottom panel was an old unfinished painting from last year. So many layers. And I’ve spent the past two days just adding white paint over white paint. I have no idea where it will go from here, but it’s at an interesting place right now.

And then there is all the stuff churning around in my brain. I was hit with a wave of ideas for art pieces last week while flying down the freeway blasting some permutation of Jack White on the stereo. And it wasn’t just a couple random ideas, I saw the complete installation in a gallery. It was kind of amazing. Now my challenge is to see if I can create those pieces. It started with sculptural wall pieces – something I’ve never done before. I have no idea how I’m gonna pull those off, but my plan is to start with a small maquette and experiment with materials. There were also photographs – cyanotypes to be specific. Hey lucky me, I was already planning on doing an Independent Study in Alternative Process this upcoming semester. I had no idea what I was going to work on when I brought this up to Randy (professor) last spring, but now I know exactly what I need to do. And I am slowing getting things together to put myself in front of the camera. Big leaps here people.

2 weeks ago, I had a sudden urge to go to the library and check out a book that I hadn’t finished the first time around. It’s a big book. While I was looking for what I went in for, I ran across “The Artist’s Way” and decided to grab that too. Oh life, it’s bigger.

 

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Merry Ho Ho Ho

December 25, 2014

in Life - it's bigger

Santa came!

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and replaced my daughter’s regular legs with mile-long spider limbs!   freaky

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oh man. Kyle, Erin, and I played a game of Life – it was almost as painful as the real thing!

And with this gift, Chris gets his phone back. Priceless.

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But then he had to build the Monster High Catacombs. No Barbie Dreamhouse for our little ghoul.

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I don’t think Chuck Norris appreciated his inflatable unicorn horn, but I sure appreciated this box of art supplies from Santa!

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And with the arrival of the grandparents, came an outfit change. Girl cleans up nice.

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We are in trouble with this one.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!

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crap. We still have 2 more weeks of May. Each month I hope our stress levels are gonna drop back down to “normal”. It hasn’t happened yet. My fear is that this is the new normal; a crisis a day. And that would suck. My adrenal glands need a freaking break here!

Kyle sprained his ankle at volleyball practice on April 30th – the day we closed on the new house. Instead of celebrating, I spent the evening with him in Urgent Care. So April went out with the combo good news/bad news emotional slaps upside the head that life is now dealing us on a regular basis. May has been much of the same. All good things must be offset with an equally bad thing. There is a Buddhist lesson in all this about walking the middle path, but my balance is totally shot. So it goes.

2 days later I got 31 injections of botox in my head, neck, and shoulders to help with my migraines. It hurt. I can’t move my forehead. I was in constant pain for over a week. I had migraines. Last week I  finally started to feel “better”, but I don’t think I can do that again. Let alone every 3 months! We’ll have to see how the migraines play out over the next 2 months. I am not optimistic. So it goes.

Last week the buyers closed on our house and we are now renting back until the end of the month. (I should insert a ::happy dance:: here but ugh… I’d probably break a hip) Packing is happening. Logistics for the move have been coordinated. So everything is moving along. ha! Of course last week we got a call from the tenants at the new house about a leaking balance tank on the hot water heater. Quick call to a plumber to get that fixed. ka-ching. So it goes.

Kyle’s ankle is on the mend and after a couple days of scrambling for doctor appts,  fights about splints and crutches, and tears (mine of course), he was released to play last Friday. Just in time to finish up the Section  championships this week and then hopefully on to NorCal’s next week. I hope they can take it all the way! I haven’t even seen one game this season. So it goes.

This weekend there was nothing on our calendars. Nothing. That was surreal. Our heart rates dropped. Coffee was drank in leisure and not chugged as we ran out the door to put out another fire. So we took a run to Ikea to buy new desks and spent the rest of the time packing and catching up on all the things. We were in the home stretch yesterday evening and trying to figure out what to have for dinner when the neighbor’s dog jumped on Erin and scratched her back pretty bad. Back to Urgent Care with another huge adrenaline spike. Erin is fine. No stitches thank goodness, but still… we all could have done without that scare. So now I’m thinking forget the dishes, I’m gonna wrap my family in all that bubble-wrap and wait for June. I am the only one who hasn’t been to that Urgent Care this year. So it goes.

But like I said, May ain’t over yet and this week we are back to busy. A couple volleyball play-off games and this Thursday is Big Names Small Art at the Crocker!! Something awesome indeed. And this is the last week of my Printmaking class. It is kinda of amazing that through all that has been going on these last 3 1/2 months, I have ended up with a really nice portfolio of work to turn in. So it goes.

And I’m almost afraid to mention that my woodcut “Split” was accepted into this year’s California State Fair Fine Art Exhibit!

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::taps out::

 

 

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And *POOF* we bought a house!

May 1, 2014

If *POOF* equals 2 months of stress, trauma, and great uncertainty. But yes, after the absolute hell we have gone through, we actually “recorded” yesterday. The house is ours. At the end of the month we will move from Cardinal to Soaring Hawk. Bigger, better, bird – bigger, better house. Our current house (which is […]

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On your mark, get set, go!

January 16, 2014

Happy New Year!  (just a couple weeks late – not too bad considering my blogging track record) Christmas is over and so is the club volleyball season. I would do a “no more volleyball” happy dance, but conditioning for the high school season starts next week. So yeah… the volleyball, unlike the holiday season, never […]

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