Hell’s bells.

I am avoiding something.

I think it might be something big.

And probably ugly.

Yesterday I spent the day playing video games after a long break. Today I am giving my website a complete make-over. I typically clean when I am in avoidance mode, so this is atypical and disturbing behavior. I’m dealing with code for fuck sake! And yes, I am positive there will be more swearing.

I think I am supposed to be writing. I started something a couple months ago and then let it fall to the side. It’s going to be another brain-fuck so I’m guessing that is the hesitation to pick it back up. I do not want a repeat of the mental state I found myself in last year at this time. It took me well into the summer to recover. And yes, I’m being a bit vague because I never did talk about any of that on this site. In a nut shell: a research paper on adoption for an english class coupled with the stress of getting Kyle graduated and into college broke my brain. But I think I really need to get this family stuff out of my head and onto paper (can’t afford a shrink right now) as I find myself over-sharing with random strangers.

hi. let me tell you about my fucked up family history.


So. Go check out the new shiny zoot suit I put on my website! And the previously named “Freeway Project”? It’s still progressing but at a glacial pace. This semester’s Fiber Arts class is giving my a lot of ideas as to how to deal with the sculptural elements of the project. In the meantime, Erin and I are weaving.














I have a writing assignment to do tonight for my photography class. joy. We will be taking self-portraits for our next photo project and the professor is having us do a ‘Written Self Portrait’ to help us prepare for the photo. oh even better. Not only do I not enjoy writing (shut up Julie!),  but writing about myself is my least-favorite type of writing.

But I think we all know what kind of student I am – I want those 5 points. So I’ll write. She claims she isn’t going to read them, just wants to see that we did the writing. For whatever reason, that doesn’t make it easier. I mean really, how could she not just skim them a little bit?!

1. Written Self Portrait

  • Write freely (no concern for spelling, structure, etc.)
  • Who are you in your family? With your friends?
  • What do you like to do?
  • What do you think about?
  • What do you look like?
  • What makes you happy? or sad? or mad?
  • Who is the person that everybody sees?
  • Who is the person deep inside that no one sees?
  • What might your future be?

2. Reflection

  • What images are suggested by writing?
  • Describe photograph you would take – what should be included in the frame?


So, I brought the assignment sheet and my pad of paper over to my chair and set them down next to me. I picked up the laptop (I’ll have to remember to write about my tendency to procrastinate) and the first thing I read was this. And then the very next thing I read was this! Kinda weird. Kinda perfect. Kinda not helping me at all with this assignment.